CHAPTER ONE: A Very Boring Zoo

Marion sighed as he walked under the excited arch reading “Crown Heights Zoo” in bold, red lettering. The bombastic signs advertising the many exhibits felt a little out of place on the cloudy, gray day his family chose to force him out of the house.
The glum weather didn’t stop either of his parents though, or his sister, from expectantly talking about their favorite exhibits and meticulously planning out their visit.
Another ‘fun’ day at the zoo, he thought, a little irritated.
Still excited, his mother quickly explained, “Everyone meet back here in thirty minutes. Then we’ll see some exhibits together and get a snack—wait, what are you going to see, Marion?”
Marion thought for a moment as the rest of the family impatiently waited.
“I guess I’ll check out the giraffes,” he finally concluded.
“Alright, we’ll all meet back here in thirty minutes. Everyone remember to have fun!” his mother cheered.
The rest of the family quickly raced toward their respective exhibits, but Marion simply sauntered toward the giraffes ready to kick any pebble between him and his destination.

CHAPTER TWO: Salutations

Marion sighed as he walked under the excited arch reading “Crown Heights Zoo” in bold, red lettering. The bombastic signs advertising the many exhibits felt a little out of place on the cloudy, gray day his family chose to force him out of the house.
The glum weather didn’t stop either of his parents though, or his sister, from expectantly talking about their favorite exhibits and meticulously planning out their visit.
Another ‘fun’ day at the zoo, he thought, a little irritated.
Still excited, his mother quickly explained, “Everyone meet back here in thirty minutes. Then we’ll see some exhibits together and get a snack—wait, what are you going to see, Marion?”
Marion thought for a moment as the rest of the family impatiently waited.
“I guess I’ll check out the giraffes,” he finally concluded.
“Alright, we’ll all meet back here in thirty minutes. Everyone remember to have fun!” his mother cheered.
The rest of the family quickly raced toward their respective exhibits, but Marion simply sauntered toward the giraffes ready to kick any pebble between him and his destination.

CHAPTER THREE: Escape Zoo Island

Marion looked up quizzically toward his new spotted companion while slowly rubbing the back of his head with his thumb.
“So, we need to get your hat and monocle so the zookeepers will stop coming after you?” Marion asked as the strange pair escaped through the loading area at the back of the giraffe enclosure.
“That is correct,” Gerald replied.
Marion didn’t look convinced.
“You will see,” Gerald said with certainty.
They started down one of the winding, brick paths that forked throughout the zoo and saw no other zoogoers out in the gloomy weather.
“You picked a good day to escape from the zoo,” Marion said proudly.
“Should make it easier to get out of here,” Gerald replied lost in thought.
“How are we going to get you out of here?”
“Well, I don’t see why we cannot merely walk out.”
Marion took great offense to this absurd idea, which could easily be seen in his skeptical expression.
“I do. You’re a giraffe,” he replied.
“I don’t see how that is relevant,” Gerald calmly stated.
Marion threw up his arms.
“Sure, what do I know?”
Marion’s obviously facetious retort didn’t faze Gerald in the slightest. He simply smiled.
“Great! Let’s get going!”
They walked past the sea lions, through the monkey exhibit, and almost to the insect emporium when another strange duo intercepted them.
“Stop right there!” shouted a sturdy looking man in a zookeeper uniform.
“Yeah, don’t move!” a slight woman in the same garb added.
“Dale, Amelia, we have been over this,” Gerald replied.
“Stop talking, you crafty giraffe!” Amelia countered.
“Yeah, just let us get you back in your enclosure!” Dale added.
“Wait a minute…you can hear him talk too…and you’re still trying to put him back?” Marion asked.
“Oh, he can talk alright. One of the chattiest I’ve seen—but he’s just a giraffe like all the others. Can’t trust em’,” Amelia said while squatting down, getting ready to leap.
“Yeah, all I hear when this giraffe talks is, ‘I’m just a long-necked cow trying to make your life hard’,” Dale added.
“I can’t believe this,” Marion said, shaking his head.
“Please, I have an important meeting with a high-profile client at the bank today!” Gerald pleaded.
“Long-necked cow, long-necked cow!” Dale taunted as Amelia pounced.
She wrapped herself around Gerald’s leg and attempted to capture him with her butterfly net while Dale continued to taunt.
“I’ll get you yet, giraffe,” insisted Amelia.
Well, this is just ridiculous, Marion thought.
He watched on with mild amusement and a great deal of confusion as Amelia, wrapped around Gerald’s leg like a spider monkey, continued to ineffectually ram her butterfly net into his shoulder. Suddenly an idea struck him. “Gerald! Take one of their hats!”
Gerald understood, but did not concur.
“I don’t think this will work, Marion. It’s not like there is a monocle to go with their hat.”
“Just try it!”
“Ok, but it is a bit silly.”
Gerald seized Amelia’s hat in his mouth and flipped it onto his head. Dale looked up and noticed the change in appearance.
“I haven’t seen you around. Are you new here?”
Amelia unwrapped herself and looked up, “Have you seen a giraffe around here, new guy?”
“I can’t believe that worked,” Marion muttered under his breath.
“Yes, I saw a giraffe going toward the sea lions,” Gerald responded helpfully.
“Great, we’ll be on our way then,” Amelia continued.
“See you later, new guy. Thanks for the help!” Dale added.
The strange zookeepers ran off to find their suddenly lost giraffe.
“Great idea Marion! Shall we continue?”
Marion shook his head in bewilderment and thought, What in the world is happening?

CHAPTER FOUR: Hot Diggity Dog

On the sidewalk just outside the zoo, Gerald paced while Marion looked on excitedly (Giraffes, in fact, do not pace. It’s really more of a nervous trot).
“So, we’re out of the zoo. What now?” Marion inquired.
“Well, I will be going to see my old tax accountant. You are staying here. Your help has been much appr—”
“No way! You’ll need me! Ummm…I’m a good runner…I’m good at puzzles…and I’m good at table tennis—yeah, that’ll come in handy. Also, I like ice cream—”
“I think you’ve derailed a bit,” Gerald interrupted.
“Uh, right. Sorry. Anyway, I did help you out.”
Marion’s pleading gaze softened Gerald’s previous certainty. He stopped pacing and looked kindly toward his liberator.
“I suppose you have been rather helpful, but don’t you have parents or—”
Marion quickly looked down at his watch.
“My parents! Oh no! I’m supposed to meet them in three minutes! Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok, you can come, but I am leaving in five minutes with or without you.”
Marion ran toward the zoo showing the stamp on his hand to get back in. His run turned to a brisk walk once his parents were in sight.
“Marion, where have you been? You must have been having fun,” his mom said smirking.
Panting, Marion quickly explained, “I’ve had lots of fun. I ran into a talking giraffe who asked me to help him escape the zoo. We had to trick some crazy zookeepers that were trying to capture him with butterfly nets. Then we just walked out, but he’s going to leave without me if I don’t go back soon, so can I go?”
A smile grew on his mom’s face as she got into character. His dad and sister just looked confused.
“Oooh, a talking giraffe. Very exciting. How are you going to escape?”
“Like I said, I just opened his enclosure and we walked out, but we need to go now.”
“Ah, very well done. Where do you need to go?”
“We need to get his hat and monocle back so he can meet a client at the bank.”
“Very creative! I’m glad you’re having fun. As long as you’re home by four for dinner with your Aunt and Uncle you can go.”
“Thanks mom! I’ll be there!”
Marion briskly turned and powerwalked away. His father turned to his mother quizzically. She understood the question.
“Oh, I’m sure he just ran into a friend and they’re playing some made-up game. He’ll be fine.”
His father questioningly raised an eyebrow, then realizing he didn’t really care, lowered it.
A short time later, Marion returned to the sight of a 17-foot-tall giraffe in a zookeeper’s hat pacing the sidewalk.
“Great! You’re still here!”
“Of course. I am a giraffe of my word. Now let’s be on our way! His office is not far from here.”
Marion and Gerald started off with singular focus. After a couple minutes that silent determination was broken by a loud grumble originating in Gerald’s belly. He broke the silence. “I am becoming exceedingly hungry. All they had at the zoo were these foul-smelling pellets.”
“We can’t stop for food now! You have your meeting to get to.”
“It is terribly important that we giraffes eat enough. I normally eat as much as seventy-five pounds of food per day.”
Marion recalled his own weight, tensed up, and skeptically asked, “What do you eat anyway?”
Gerald slowly settled into a large, closed-lip grin.
“Leaves,” he happily reported.
Marion relaxed and tossed this fact around in his head for a few seconds before replying, “Makes sense. I don’t really see any leaves arou—”
“LOOK! Hot dogs!” Gerald interrupted.
“You just said giraffes eat leaves.”
“It is my cheat day,” he replied with another large grin.
The pair headed over to the hot dog stand on the bustling street corner and ordered 27 hot dogs.
“That’s a lot of hot dogs!” The vender said, smiling. “You’re pretty tall though—my cousin is 6’7”—eats like you wouldn’t believe! Well, that will be $30. I’ll give you the bulk special—ha!”
“Could you help me out, Marion? All of my money was with my hat and monocle.”
“Sure, I’ll loan it to you at a 5% interest rate with a period of two hours,” Marion replied with a too-wide smile.
“Very funny,” Gerald said rolling his eyes. “I will pay you back though.”
“Good, this is really cutting into my birthday money.”
They went on their way and Gerald used his long tongue to scoop up hot dogs five at a time. Soon all the morsels had vanished and with their determination restored, they quickly arrived at Anderson and Sons Accounting.
“Here we are! I’m sure my tax accountant knows something. We just need to get him to talk.”
“Let’s get in there then!”

CHAPTER FIVE: Tax Evasion

Gerald never liked doors. They didn’t suit him. Suits on the other hand, well, he adored them. The door to Anderson and Sons Accounting was like all other doors. Gerald looked toward his opponent with disdain and proceeded to squeeze inside. He and Marion walked to the front desk where the receptionist was clacking away on her keyboard.
“What’s your name?” she droned without looking up.
“Gregory Longstaff,” Gerald fibbed.
“What is the nature of your appointment?”
“I need to ask Steven some questions about the tax impact of changing my business to an LLC.”
“Alright, please take a seat. He will see you shortly.”
Gerald grabbed a cup of coffee, then he and Marion sat down in the beige, carpeted waiting area. The lights were on but were unnecessary at this time of day. Three large windows in the seating area let in more light than the measly can lights dotting the ceiling could hope to produce. Marion finally broke the silence.
“How did you get into that zoo in the first place?” he asked.
Gerald thought for a moment, taking a sip of his coffee.
“That is a very good question. The trouble started when these three water-buffalo from a rival bank intercepted me on my way home from work yesterday evening and stole my hat and monocle. Those ridiculous zookeepers arrived shortly after they left and took me to the zoo. It was obviously all planned in advance.”
The carefully crafted story sparked a new line of questioning, “Are all bankers animals?” Marion asked.
“No, but almost all in upper-management.”
“Why did those water-buffalo do that?”
Gerald shifted uncomfortably in his seat and wondered what he should say next.
“They are competing for the business of that firm that I have a meeting with today. I presume they believe the firm will go to them if I don’t show up.”
“…well, are they right?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Gerald signaled the conversation was concluded by looking out the nearby window and sipping his coffee looking deep in thought. Thirty seconds passed in silence.
“Hey, so what kind of animal is this Steven guy? An elephant? A monkey?”
“Well Marion, as a matter of fact, Steven is a—”
Just then a profoundly average looking man in a dull, gray suit walked out from around the corner of the waiting area.
“Gregory Longstaff, I’m ready to see you now.”
Marion’s face became fleetingly flush as he and Gerald quickly remembered their purpose and stood up to follow Steven into his office. It was as beige as the waiting room, but lacking the natural light, allowing the constructed lights to produce a ubiquitous yellow tint.
“So, what can I help you two with today?” Steven asked in a cheery tone.
“Steven, it’s me, Gerald.”
Looking nervous, Steven exclaimed, “Gerald! I didn’t recognize you. Why are you dressed so strangely?”
“I think you know why I’m dressed like this. And I think you know why I’m here.”
A bead of sweat formed on Steven’s forehead and started its journey down his face.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Marion thought Steven’s denial was an opportunity to prove himself useful and continued the pressure, “Who are you working for?” he pried.
“…I…I can’t tell you.”
“I know we had a falling out when our bank stopped using your firm, but this is low, Steven,” Gerald somberly stated.
“I’m sorry, I really am. I shouldn’t have gotten involved.”
“Proud of your decisions, as always, I see. So, what can you tell us?” Gerald asked.
“I really don’t know anything. I gave those bankers some information and they slid some cash under the table.”
“There has to be more.”
Steven looked pale and uncomfortable shifting in his seat.
“I can’t say anything else.”
“I think that’s all we’re going to get from him, Gerald. We should get going.”
“Right. We only have a couple hours until four,” Gerald replied, “Do not think we are done here, Steven. I will be back.”
Gerald and Marion departed Anderson and Sons with more questions than answers.
“That definitely wasn’t the whole story. I’ve been thinking about this and someone else has to be involved,” Marion assessed.
Gerald winced at his words.
“I refuse to believe that. Anyway, speculation will get us nowhere. We will have to find out straight from the horse’s mouth. Or in this case, the water-buffalo’s mouth.”
Marion’s civility endured Gerald’s dismissal by swiftly moving on, “Right. So where to next?”
“Bubalus Bubalis Bank and Trust.”